


it seems like i can finally rest my head on something real

by ywhiterain



Category: Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Five Times, damon and stefan: co dependent brothers for eternity, lexi is stefan's religion, stefan&caroline bffs 4eva, stefan's active passivity is terrifying, stefan/submission otp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-09
Updated: 2012-09-09
Packaged: 2017-11-13 22:10:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/508238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ywhiterain/pseuds/ywhiterain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five people Stefan has given himself to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it seems like i can finally rest my head on something real

Katherine  
Beneath Katherine, Stefan was naked. Above him, she was fully clothed. From the nape of his neck to his elbow was his own blood, thick and oozing. He was looking at her fangs and wondering if they were, in fact, wings.

She was frowning. He lifted his hand to cup her cheek. "Do you care to tell me what troubles you?"

"Tell me the truth," Katherine said and he was drawn to her eyes, warm and brown, "what do you truly feel for me?"

"Fear," Stefan said and her warm eyes made him shiver and his heart beat faster in anything but desire.

She laughed and he smiled back out of habit. "Do you think I'm going to kill you?"

"I know you are," Stefan said and gasped when Katherine leaned down and sunk her fangs into the undamaged side of his neck. Predators, Stefan thought, feeling dizzy and nauseous as she drained more blood from him, are built with weapons.

"What are you thinking?" Katherine asked after pulling away and looking into his eyes.

Stefan wondered if closing his eyes would mean he could avoid her compulsion. He didn't dare try. Instead, he did as she bid by answering, "That prey are built to hurt."

"You are a very peculiar person," Katherine said. The wrinkles around her eyes softened and her fangs rose in her mouth in order to hide. She looked sad and Stefan knew that it was his fault. He wished he had the strength to lift up his arms to comfort her.

"I'm sorry," Stefan said, and these words weren't torn out of him, "I try not to be."

Katherine reached over to the nightstand and picked up the knife she'd put there before she'd brought Stefan to her bed. She used it to cut into her palm. She pressed the wound to Stefan's mouth. "Drink," she said.

The taste of her blood was bitter, but it brought back his strength. As her hand stroked his hair, warmth spread throughout his body. He closed his eyes to savor it and decided he liked the taste.

Katherine pulled her hand away. "Do you want to die?"

"Not by your hands," Stefan said.

"I like it when you're honest with me," Katherine said with a smile he'd never seen her wear before, "But you're going to forget this conversation ever happened."

Her eyes really were her best feature.

 

Lexi  
Lexi took Stefan's face in her hands. He looked straight into her eyes and she tore through his mental defenses before he had a chance to lower them for her.

Then he was hungry and it felt like his entire body was desiccating.

He would have screamed but he'd lost that ability two years ago. Or maybe it was two days ago. Possibly, it was two weeks. Or a century. Stefan had no idea how long he'd been locked down. It was a side affect of being in a windowless cellar with Lexi twisting his sense of time to dry him out faster. But he wasn't worried. Lexi knew what she was doing and he trusted her.

She pulled away and Stefan was cold and alone. He licked his lips and looked up at her. He hoped she'd talk to him, but he wouldn't ask her. Begging wasn't what she was looking for.

"What do you feel?"

Stefan moved his tongue around his mouth, trying to moisten it. It was to no avail. His voice was small and hoarse when he spoke. "Numb."

"Good," she said with a nod. She walked across the room to pick something up. "Now we can really get started."

Stefan had thought his body was too exhausted to yell anymore. Lexi proved him wrong.

 

Damon  
Stefan's fingers were cramped from making notes over a hundred and fifty-four years of diaries . His eyes were sore from trying to make out faded ink and sloppy handwriting from his younger days. Guilt and worry took energy and Stefan hadn't been sleeping, so he was tired. Above all, he was hungry. And not for animal blood he'd been eating for the last month.

When Damon walked into his room like he owned it, like he always did, Stefan was tempted to shove him out the window. "What do you want?"

Damon took a quick look around the room, before turning his gaze to Stefan. "Just wanted to hang out with my baby brother."

"No you don't." Stefan dropped his pen and closed his eyes. Rubbing them carefully, he said, "You've been avoiding me - "

"Elena." He strode across the room and stood in front of Stefan's desk. Setting his palm on the table, he leaned forward. "I'm avoiding Elena. Giving you two some alone time like we agreed."

Stefan pulled away from his desk. "What do you want, Damon?"

"If you slept more, you'd probably less grumpy," Damon said and Stefan clenched his jaw. Damon crooked his index finger, "We're going to eat." Damon walked around the desk and took a handful of Stefan's shirt in order to yank Stefan on his feet. He quirked his eyebrows. "My treat."

Stefan pushed Damon away. "I'm not interested."

"It wasn't an offer," Damon said. "But," Damon spread his arms, "I'll give you a choice. Blood bag or sorority girl?" Stefan pressed his lips together and Damon sighed with his entire body. "I've let you get away with your forest animal diet because of Elena drama, but that stops now."

Stefan turned away from his brother, planning to return to his diaries, but Damon blocked him. "Your puppy blood diet would make it very easy for me to overpower you." He set his hands on Stefan's shoulders. "Don't think for a second that I won't." He would, Stefan knew. And Stefan also knew his brother well enough to know that should frighten him or at least bother him.

Damon's voice dropped and his fingers dug into Stefan's shoulders with enough force to make him wince as he said, "Look around you."

Like he was following an order, Stefan glanced over his room. His bookshelves were bare. Four journals rested on his desk. On the floor next to his desk, were three stacks of journals, arranged by year. Ten journals were spread across his bed.

On the couch were about two dozen. On the coffee table were six more. On the chair next to his dresser were fifteen neatly staked spiral notebooks he'd filled with notes. On the floor next to the chair were thirty more, ready for him to use. On the window seal were twenty pens that had run out of ink that he hadn't had a chance to throw away yet.

In the closet, hidden from view, were about a hundred more journals, which he'd stored in the attic after he'd first laid eyes on Elena, that Stefan hadn't sorted through yet.

Stefan turned back to his brother. "I'm summarizing the things I've learned as a vampire for Elena."

"You're sublimating," Damon said, "to an obsessive degree that's impressive even for you." He took a handful of Stefan's shirt and began to walk out of the room, dragging his little brother with him. "So, we are going to go downstairs and drink human blood together." When they were in the hallway, Damon jerked him forward so that Stefan was in front of him and then slammed the door to Stefan's room shut. "And then you are going to go my room to sleep while I remove all the temptations from yours." He yanked Stefan forward so there was only a few inches of space between them. "Are we clear?"

"Just don't throw anything away," Stefan said as he set his hands on Damon's.

Damon let go of Stefan's shirt. Then he smoothed down the material and patted Stefan's shoulder. "I wouldn't dream of it."

"Thank you," Stefan said.

Damon looked at him like he was seeing a stranger. Then he shook his head and took a handful of Stefan's shirt again and began to drag him down the stairs. Stefan stumbled as he was pulled. But that was all right; Damon was strong enough for both of them.

 

Caroline  
When Caroline backhanded him with enough force to send him to the ground, Stefan was relieved. Her friendship had become something of a miracle and Stefan was too wary to trust what was too good to be true, but too weak to walk away before the storm came and wasted everything in its wake.

"Why did you leave?" Her voice was small and young, making it easy enough pull himself up and examine her for lasting damage instead of answering her. "I'm fine," she said, and that was a demand, so he took a step back and dropped his hands to his sides. "I'm a vampire, remember?"

"I just wanted to be sure," Stefan said. "Klaus can be - "

Not letting him finish his sentence, she grabbed his wrists, jerked him forward. "You were supposed to be here for Elena." Her fingers dug into his skin, made bruises. "You were supposed to run away from Klaus and come back and come up with a plan to fix everything!"

"I'm sorry," Stefan said. She relaxed her hold, but did not let go of him. "I shouldn't have let you believe I would always be there for you."

She flinched and Stefan realized he should have pretended this was about Elena. She pushed him away, disgusted, and he turned his gaze to the ground and tried to figure out what else he'd done wrong.

"Hey," she said and he looked up. Her voice was soft, her face softer. "I didn't need you to be perfect."

That was never true.

She sighed and dropped to the ground. Stefan copied her. "Okay," she said, "I'm not great at lying, so I'll just take that back."

"You don't have to."

"Yes I do," Caroline said.

"I don't - "

Caroline pressed her index finger across his lips. "You were an unstable crazy person who spent way too much time thinking about Klaus," Stefan bit his bottom lip to hide his grin, "and I put you on a pedestal no one could possibly live up to." She pulled back. Her eyes were sparkling. "Now that we've both admitted that," she punched the air, "we can move forward."

"Forward it is," Stefan said, watching the lines of her muscles relax as she fell to her back and looked up at the clouds. There were endless questions Stefan had for her; caveats he needed to learn.

 

Elena  
Stefan found Elena in the graveyard, writing in her diary. When he walked before her, she closed her journal and set it down on her lap. "I was wondering how long it'd take for you to show up."

"You're grieving. There are worse ways to cope." Stefan shoved his hands in his pockets and gave her a crooked smile. "But I'm starting to worry."

"Liar," Elena said and scooted over a few inches. Stefan took that as an invitation to sit down next to her. "You've been worried since I started coming here every night."

Stefan leaned against the Gilbert gravestone. It felt strong and steady against his back. Stefan could see why she found it so comforting. He tilted his head to face her. "I've been worried since you transitioned."

"Haven't you heard?" Elena said, "I'm a natural."

Bitterness didn't suit her. He cupped her face and leaned over to kiss her. She didn't kiss back so he pulled away.

"Damon, you know," she continued as if he hadn't tried to comfort her, "has turned a lot of people. He told me that most new vampires have a period where they go nuts and kill people for fun. I should be proud of myself." She ran her fingers through her hair.

"Do you want me to punch him for you?" Stefan asked after several minutes passed in silence.

"I already did," Elena said. "I think he was just egging me on. Trying to get me to react." She tossed her pen into the night. The sound of a stone crashing into the ground echoed. She stared at him and then began to laugh so hard that Stefan found himself laughing with her. Her head fell on his shoulder and he almost wrapped an arm around her. She lifted her head up to met his gaze. "I don't think he believes me when I tell him that I'm perfectly fine."

"You don't have to be," Stefan said.

Her smile slipped back into frown. She took the diary out of her lap and set it down beside her so that she could pull her legs into her chest and wrap her arms around them. "Not a minute goes by where I don't think about leaving."

"But you're not going to," Stefan said, "that's what matters."

"But I want to," Elena said, shaking her head like she could reject his comfort if she just denied it enough. "I want to run away and never look back." Her head fell into her knees and shoulders began to shake with the force of her tears.

"Hey," Stefan said and as soon as he set a hand on her arm she threw herself into his arms and buried her face into his shoulder. She dug her fingers into his shirt with enough force to tear the material. She cried so hard that every few minutes she had gasp desperately for air.

And all he could do was stroke her hair and whisper he loved her over and over again.

But she didn't pull away from him.


End file.
